Tales of the Vintage Caveman

Monday, Monday

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:28:49 -0500

I’m starting work at the new job tomorrow! It’s a big fancy customer service call center, and it pays fairly well.

I have some idea of what I’ll be doing, but there is two weeks of training so I am completely in the dark on the major details.

Intriguing? Maybe.

Exciting? No

I just can wait until I get the money cake train up and running again.

I'm not dead...I'm just not on Twitter anymore.

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:57:00 -0500

A couple of days ago I quit the social networking site, known as, Twitter…again. I didn’t tell many people because I didn’t wish to cause the fuss like it did last time it happened. Actually, it was not really my intention to draw any sort of attention to it at all.

I’m not dead…I’m just not on Twitter anymore. There is no set plan of when or even if I’ll be back. Too much of my time has been wasted on the Internet not being productive, and there are many other things that require my attention at the moment.

You can always find me here or at Popbunker.net (where I’m write stuff), and the usual Gmail-Gchat-Facebook-Flickr bonanza.

(And make sure to subscribe to my new feed: http://vintagecaveman.com/rss)

Dear Me

Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:12:51 -0500

Dear Cave-Lad,

I know you’ve just turned 3 and that’s a big deal (That was a really awesome teddy bear cowboy cake, huh?), but birthday is today too and I just wanted to send along some advice to help you through the next 18 years. Getting from where you are right now to where I am right now is a strange experiance and I just want you be prepared.

Listen carefully, I won’t be repeating myself:

-“Old” movies are great.

-Mom and Dad are splitting in 4 years. It is not your fault.

-Stop crying about not getting your own way. No one gets their own way.

-You will find out soon that you get motion sick. Don’t read in the car and avoid theme park rides that spin.

-Do your homework.

-The internet is coming soon, and it is fucking wild!

-Don’t be afraid to express yourself.

-Avoid irony as a philosophy. It’ll only serve to make you look stupid.

-Red-heads are crazy (in a good way).

-Books are awesome. Read as much as possible.

-Enjoy the moments in life where things just work right.

-Stay away from Watermelon Vodka. Trust me on this.

-Laugh. Things in life are funny. Don’t be so sad all the time.

There is a lot more that, but you’re going to have to figure out the rest by yourself. Think of it like a game. You like games, right?

Stay awesome.

Your friend,

Matthew “Vintage Caveman” Becker

Sadness and Guns

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:58:21 -0500

While returning home from a trip to the college, to fill out paperwork and collect my belongings, my Step-Dad (who’s helping me with this depressing maneuver) decides to take a pit stop at a popular local sporting goods shop.

We found ourselves quickly wandering into the firearms section of the store and I noticed a major ideological rift between him and I.

He’s all like: “Barrels, caliber, magnum, blah, blah, blah.”

And I’m like: “Hey! This is the rifle that Max Brooks said would be good fighting zombies with!”, and “Is that a ‘Walther PPK? That is James Bond’s gun!”

It’s good to know that even in the worst of times I am still nerdcore.

Going back to work. REDUX

Sun, 17 Jan 2010 15:59:18 -0500

Remember that interview I had on the 13^th? Well…I missed it.

A whole hour before I was supposed even show up I decided that I should get some food and eat it in the parking lot. I ran inside the local Burger King and ordered a classic chicken sandwich with just ketchup, cheese, and bacon (a remnant of the 2 months I worked as a Burger slave) to go, and I rushed back out to the car. Unfortunately, after a quick survey of the area I quickly realized that my keys were not in my pocket where they belonged…they were in the passenger’s side seat.

After a minute or two of artful cursing and maybe a little crying (I’ll never tell.) I spent the rest of my day hiking the handful of miles to my Dad’s place and making frantic phone calls.

The next day, after a lot moaning about how the universe has let me down, I was lucky to get a call back and was shown mercy in the form of a rescheduled interview: Monday at 3.

If I get this job I am going to, as the kids say, “make it rain”.

Going back to work.

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:42:20 -0500

While stuck in this pit of despair and desolation I like to call my hometown I figure that there isn’t any reason why shouldn’t be making a couple of bucks while wallowing in my own self pity. That’s why I gots me a job interview tomorrow (1/13) at 3.

It’s a nice, little in-bound call center. I’m really not a fan of talking on the phone, but I’m going to try (I hear the money is really good).

Discovered while out and about. I love having a camera, again.

Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:44:58 -0500

Discovered while out and about.

I love having a camera, again.

I have to take this semester off.

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 13:40:39 -0500

Due to multiple stresses that have not been made known to close personal friends and the general public I have been forced to make the decision to take this semester off from school.

Hopefully, things will get better by August but for now I am needed home.

In which our hero is given non-exclusive rights to adapt a short story written by a famous author for a buck.

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 09:40:53 -0500

It’s been author, Stephen King’s policy since the mid-70’s that any young and aspiring filmmakers can adapt one of his short stories for the quick and easy price of one dollar.

I’ve been a fan of Mr. King’s short stories since I could read and they have lead me to so many great things (like Sherlock Holmes, and film noir) so when I discovered this “Dollar Deal” I jumped at the chance.

A couple of days ago I settled on a story and sent out my request to the King HQ for approval.

Yesterday, I received this email:

“Greetings from the office of Stephen King

I am attaching the contracts for Nona. Please review the contracts, sign and
return to Stephen King, 49 Florida Ave, Bangor, Maine 04401. Please add your
name and address to the contracts.

I want to remind you that you cannot use the film for commercial purposes.

Please let me know that you have the contracts. If you have any problem
opening them I can send them by snail mail.

Margaret
Staff Administrative Assistant”

It’s going to take a little while to flesh out the screenplay, but it looks like it’s going to be a whole lot of fun.

A project I did for a video class. The dialogue doesn’t...

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 17:32:33 -0500

A project I did for a video class. The dialogue doesn’t really matter…It looks nice.

(If you didn’t see it the first hundred times I posted this to Twitter.)

…from Christmas. My Grandfather with his Great-Grandson....

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 05:09:11 -0500

…from Christmas. My Grandfather with his Great-Grandson. Crazy isn’t it?

This year I will:

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 17:07:57 -0500

Hug a stranger.
Enjoy the outdoors.
Update the blog more often.
Have fun.
Get a tattoo.
Plant a tree.
Eat a whole, raw potato like an apple.
Travel.
Try yoga.
Get a pet fish.
Read more.
Take more chances.
Eat a mango.
Adapt a short story into a screenplay.
Declutter.
Eat more foreign foods.
Live better.

New Year. New Digs.

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:57:00 -0500

In an attempt to reorganize, simplify, and just shuffle things around a bit I’ve moved from Wordpress to Tumblr. I don’t know how this will effect my rss, or links but I’m confident we’ll figure it out together.

Make sure to comment and tell me how you like the new layout!

None of the blog posts from the original Wordpress blog were transferred here, but if you absolutely need to to relive “Classic Caveman” send me an email and I’ll let you sift through the remains. I might even re-post some of it one day.